At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
