It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
