Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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