I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
