i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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