the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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