how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
