u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
