The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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