Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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