At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
