Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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