Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
