There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
