At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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