i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she peed on how many people?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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