Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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