Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
