You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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