By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
