is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
