don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
