and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
