'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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