I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
