she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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