oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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