i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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