I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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