I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
