remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
