Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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