Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
