we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
