I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
