Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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