Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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