Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
