she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
