Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
