marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
