can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
