is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
