I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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