Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she peed on how many people?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
