shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
