Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
