Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
