would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
