my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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