Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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