If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
