Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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