so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
