Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
