i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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