I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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